Green with envy
I'm getting a headache and my head is starting to spin. Really, I would like to go home and curl up my quilt. It's dark and rainy, plus...well, let's just say it's that time of the month. But I have a few more hours to trudge through before I can go home.
This has nothing to do with my title. I can't shake thinking about envy. I think that's because I'm suffering a serious case of it and I have for a really long time. I always thought that envy was wanting more things. But that's really greed. It's really easy to understand (and identify) greed. Envy ... (the green-eyed monster (or is that jealously? What's the difference?)) ... is more subtle. And my life is ripe with it. I don't like what I have. I look at others who have more than me and I want it. I don't begrudge anyone what they hae...but I want a cool job and a family and a husband. I want to not have to worry about money. I want some real furniture (okay, that's a material thing, but really, I want to be comfortable). I want to have some fun. I want to trust God and his plan. But it's hard. So hard!
The opposite virtue of envy, according to the Catholic Church, is kindness. Hmmm. That really pulls the envious one out of navel-gazing and the realm of selfishness.
But I still feel like I have so much to offer and it's not working. No one seems to care that I am loving, loyal, deep, caring, and intelligent.
Man, I'm just arrogant. But that's how I feel.
This has nothing to do with my title. I can't shake thinking about envy. I think that's because I'm suffering a serious case of it and I have for a really long time. I always thought that envy was wanting more things. But that's really greed. It's really easy to understand (and identify) greed. Envy ... (the green-eyed monster (or is that jealously? What's the difference?)) ... is more subtle. And my life is ripe with it. I don't like what I have. I look at others who have more than me and I want it. I don't begrudge anyone what they hae...but I want a cool job and a family and a husband. I want to not have to worry about money. I want some real furniture (okay, that's a material thing, but really, I want to be comfortable). I want to have some fun. I want to trust God and his plan. But it's hard. So hard!
The opposite virtue of envy, according to the Catholic Church, is kindness. Hmmm. That really pulls the envious one out of navel-gazing and the realm of selfishness.
But I still feel like I have so much to offer and it's not working. No one seems to care that I am loving, loyal, deep, caring, and intelligent.
Man, I'm just arrogant. But that's how I feel.
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